Words of Prabeen not just pressed, but that touch and impress!

Archive for the ‘Spoof’ Category

#Dangal #Dangal! Sab #Mangal!


#Dangal #Dangal! InI: Interesting n Intriguing! #AK (bhai, #AamirKhan, haan a #Khaaaan! baba #Khan!) becomes #Hero to #Zero and then back as #Hero – #DeshDrohii to #Dangal (synonymous with highest grossing super dooper hit movie).
#Stupid (and a disgrace) remark (what a wife! WAW!) made him a national talk point of hypocrisy, intolerance in a live interaction (a #trap). And then a scripted acting / dialog aka a movie made him a national hero! (By the whole sudden #intolerance debate media wide was all drama and malicious.)
I didn’t notice any call for ban for his movie though.

Everybody almost who has watched the #Dangal movie is really suggesting to go for it (watch the movie)…

#Business #Politics #Media
Sab #MANGAL ho!
#NoDeal (#SnapDeal) to #BigDeal!

Oh bhaiyaa, ek tho #PAAN denaa usko. thuke gaa to bhii #Aamir thodii naa #ad script ke through #AtithiDeboBhabah aka #IndianTourism (#SwachhBhaarat!) kaa #vbigyaapan de paayega. dariyegaa nahiin… thukte jaao.

sab #Maayaa, o’ re bade Bhaiyaa!

#Sab

(Tum sab) #Dog, jiskaa naam #Shahrukh hai. (Arey #AK saab hii boley thae naa!)

ballle, balle!  Halla Bol!

Jii, #MayaMamSaab! 😉

(#Aamin!)

~ Prabeen Kumar Pati

 

 

Mere paas Facebook hai… (Tere paas kyaa hai?)


Maein pahle bahut pareshaan thaa. Padhaaii pe Mann hii nahin lagtaa thaa. Book naam se hii chid raha thaa. Exam paper dekh ke ultii aatii thii. Jaese taese pass ho jaa taa thaa. Samajh mein nahiin aa raha thaa questions waese kyuun puuchhe jaate the!
Lekin ab maein bahut hii khuush huun. Ab mere paas Facebook hai.
Iss book se mujhe chid nahin aatii hai. Mujhe pressurise bhii koii nahin kartaa hai isse padhne ko. Yah koii text book nahiin hai sirf; photos, videos ke saath yah fully interlinked aur interactive hai.
Apne Facebook kaa maein hiin author huun. Yahaan pe kaiin readers kaa feedback o contribution bhii miltaa hai.
Bahut saare listed friends n followers bhii hain. Mujhe proof dikhaane kii zaruurat nahiin padtii hai. Koii peer pressure nahiin hai. Bahut kuchh yahaan pe share hotaa hai. Bhaavnaa ko hum sab mil baant ke nichod tod ke bhog te hain. Yah koii crime nahin hai, koii warrant bhii nahiin nikal taa.
Koi exam nahiin, list of results nahin nikaltaa top aur bottom kaa. Pass ya Fail, kiskaa kitnaa ranking kuchh bhii yahaan pe comparison nahiin dikhaayaa jaataa hai. Isiliye inferiority yaa superiority complex kaa danger hii nahiin hai. Discrimination kaa chance hii nahiin hai!
No doubt, sab yahaan pe khuush dikhte hain.
Yahaan pe jailbreak kii zaruurat bhii nahin padtii hai.
Aap yahaan pe Admin role bhii nibhaate hain.
All round exposure yahaan pe miltaa hai. Recession kaa bhii yahaan pe zor nahin chal taa hai.
Aap yahaan pe hii Boss ho. Supervisor ho.
Mann chaahe aap yahaan pe break aur chhuttii le sakte ho.
Koii tokegaa bhii nahiin.
Aap yahaan pe ek censor board bhii chalaa sakte ho.

Iss book kii membership renewal bhii nahiin karnii padtii hai.
Apne aap updates aate rahte hai. Book kaa latest version sab ko accessible rahtaa hai. Fees bhii denaa nahiin padtaa hai. Customisation bhii free hai.

Class room ke attendance kaa chakkar bhii yahaan pe nahiin hai.

Ab meraa memory power bhii badh gaya hai virtually. Itne saare memory aids jo hain!
Search se le kar auto flash kaa feature yahaan pe hai.
Sab kuchh yaad rakhne kii bhii zaruurat nahin padtii hai.
Birth Days, events flash hote rahte hain.
Yahaan pe open culture hai.
Piith piichhe bolne kaa culture yahaan pe lagh bhag nahiin chaltaa.
Isiliye aap ko pataa chal jaataa hai, koii aap ko mention kiyaa to.

Sunaa hai, ab bhaag kar shaadii nahiin karnii padtii hai, naa kii registrar ke paas jaanaa padtaa hai. Bas yahaan pe status o profile update kar dijiye, kaahfii hai.

Haan maein apne dimaag pe itnaa zor bhii nahiin daaltaa huun. Meraa old servant-cum-friend google bhii merii sevaa mein humeshaa tatpar rahtaa hai.

Aare haan, google+ bhii hai. Yah toh memory+ vita kaa kaam kartaa hai. Gol gol! Iskaa upyog kabhii kabhii kar letaa huun.

Ab maein bahut khuush huun.

~ Prabeen Kumar Pati

Usko bhul jaaaa!


Jaaa! Tu usko bhul jaaaa!
Jo huaa, usko bhul jaaa!
Kuchh bhii nahin
Duniaa’mein
koii Mohabbat!
Sab toh hai
Yah Shaalii Zaroorat!
Thii woh koii Kaahaanii,
Nahin thii terii
Woh Ziindegaanii!
Uskaa Dard
Terii Hasii,
Terii Hasii
Uske’liye faansii!
Sapnon’kaa Saharr
Nahin thaa woh,
Haqiiqat kii
Bandii-Shaalaa
(haan, Shaalaa)
Thii woh!
Ab toh milii
Tujhe Aazaadii,
(ya, that’s true, that’s your freedom)
Ab isko jii ley tu!

~ Prabeen Kumar Pati

Yes, CM! Yes, PM! Yes, All!


Yes, CM! Yes, PM! Yes, Congress! Yes, BJP! Yes, CPM! Yes, All! Yes, etc! Yes, et al!
I am the ridiculously Independent ‘Common Poor Man‘ !

I am the compulsory, yet partly optional!
I am the subject, I am the specialisation!
Yes, I am the PCM!
But only in the votes, ranks
as marks just for the Qualification!
I am Prem, I am Chatur!
Yes, I am the Prevalent Common Man!
I am the generalisation, yet not the realisation!
I am the suggestion, not the implementation!
I am the news, but only the Journalists’ slogan!
I am the motion, but never the action!
In the Constitution, but outside the (Planning) Commission!
I am in the Institution, but never in the Consideration!
I am in the Law, but never in the Know!
I am the Integration, I am the Unity,
But if I show fully, to them I look dirty!
I am the Majority, yet the Minority!
I am the Mass, but treated as the Trash!
I am the Voice, but never a compulsory Choice!
I am the Point, but not as long as the Opponent!
I am in the election,
but as Permutation and Combination!
I am significant only in the counting
of votes in the election,
But left out to be mere two-digit number
when it comes to monetary calculation
Or so to say to attach a valuation
towards a BPL qualification!
I am always in the scene,
but later edited, cut, deleted
when it comes to be the released Film,
so much so that I am made so irrelevant
as if I am so misfit and obscene!
I am the resource, I am the growth,
I am the treasure, I am the wealth,
but made out to be the burden of subsidy
and fiscal deficit in the budget
to hide their misfire and misadventure,
and the inability, the opaque governance,
to conceal and prolong their illicit honeymoon
with dishonesty and corruption,
Thereby giving us the unwanted child
In the form of high inflation!
I am the food, I am the nutrition,
But in the godown, made out to rot
If I don’t fit in their plan and ambition!
I am in the act, but not in the participation!

Hey, watch out, all you Political Corrupt Men!

I am the Pressed Compressed Man!
Yes, I am the Poor Common Man!

~ Prabeen Kumar Pati

Yes, CM! (Common Man!)


Yes, CM!
I am so common, I am the CM!
Oh, no, you thought me the CM, the Chief Minister! Never Mind! It’s me, the Common Man! It’s so Common Me!
I am so remembered, yet fully ignored!
I am so characterless, so prevalent, so common, that’s why I am Common Me!
I am the Cursed Moon! So cursed that nobody would be with me, would never praise me, forget worshipping me; worst, everybody say I am Common, I am Me, but check the reality, so cursed and corrupt I am made to be that I never make it to the wish and the to-be list of any Corrupt Man, any Common Man! So Cursed and hated, I am Common Man, I am!
I am so hot, I am so cold! I am so sexy and glamourous that I am sold at once!
I am so ridiculously Characterless Man! I am always with and on and in every man, every woman, every leader, every fellow, every teacher, every follower, every politician, every voter, every economist, every strategist, every philosopher, every prophet, everybody! I am so common, so prevalent, so much present in mention, every talk, every column, every speech, every agitation, every movement, every plan, every budget, under the carpet, every chowk, every bazaar, every turn, every corner, every road, even footpath, every house, every home, every place, every state, so much so everywhere, don’t you forget the constitution! So Characterless and Common I am!
So prevalent yet so helpless and so lonely!
Never a destination, Never the Destiny!
I am always cited, recited; but never am I Mantra the Sacred!
I am always on the talk on the red Carpet, but I am always kept under the carpet!
I am always so wildly celebrated, but I am never the celebrity!
I am always called an inspiration, but nobody wants me even in their wildest desperation!

Yes, CM! I am so much so the Common Man!

~ Prabeen Kumar Pati

Yes PM!


Yes, PM!
PMPrime Minister? Oh no, I am a program manager, oh no, I am a project manager! Forget it! It’s all me, the Portfolio Manager!
Well, no Post Mortem on the warm reception I receive!
Ah! Leave it all aside! I am the PM, Post Master, I am just almost on the par of a Post Peon, I earn so much by so small margin!
Ah! Give me a break! It’s Paisa Money!
Oh no, how could you just miss them!? Paa Maa! Pitaa Maataa!
It’s Pappa Mamma! Oh! Poor Paapaa, Poor Mommy!
Give me a break for God sake! It’s all about Paisa Money!
And guess for whom it’s all the buzz and fuzz; fuss, it’s me!
I am the PM, so called, Poor Man!
Oh, no! My eyes open! It was all fake, God sake, it was all in the dreams I was eating and drinking and sleeping, because I have nothing to eat, nothing to drink, nothing to cheat, nothing to sleep with nor to sleep on; nothing to thrive on, nothing to put on; nothing to live with, nothing to live on, nothing to live for; but everything to shy for, everything to cry for, everything to die for!
And who ultimately suffers, it’s me! Poor Me!
It’s all past, it’s always the night as it seems, it’s always the pm, the last Post Meridien!
It’s all about the PM, Paisa Money! Poor Man! Poor Me!

God, alas! Really, the Poor Me, if the Poor Man the nation’s PM, the Prime Minister! Oh no, why mustn’t I be! They take all votes citing Poor Me, Poor Man!
Not just for the goons, for all even the rest, I am always the Printed Mantra, Printed Money!
I am so Prevalent (man), then why am I not worshipped as God!? Oh no, that’s impossible, how could be so helpless, God!
I always get highlighted, ya, literally; but always blind sighted, actually!
I am always in the words, literally; but never in action, never in motion (except some award winning picture motion), practically!
I am always put on the hot seat, literally; but always under the seat, virtually!
I am always celebrated, but never am I the celebrity!
So why am I not the Prime Man? Why always am I projected as the Present (moment), but always remain that Past Memory!?
I am the Prithvii (earth) and the Mitti (soil)!
Every netaa (leader), all the janataa (people) cite me, recite me, so much Poor Me!

Not am I the Perfect Man!?
Dare to think I am a Poet Man!
The Prophet, the Monk – who just knows it all! Ummm, but never thinks to do it all!
It’s all political, and I am a Puppet Man used by the Politicians, Man!

Ummm, always needing the helping hand; oh, the Poor Me!
Yes, the Practical Me, the Poor Me!

Alas! Again, I day-sleep, discounting the Poor Me, poor moments; never on a premium, yet to live the golden PMoments!
Yes, PM!


~ Prabeen Kumar Pati

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